"Now, don’t you fret. When I’m through he won’t set foot in this town again. I can be very, very persuasive".

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drunktrophywife:

Want to hear a fairytale? Once upon a time you weren’t such a little bitch

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  • Me: You look funny. You'll look a lot funnier sucking my dick with no teeth.
  • Brother: You look funny. You'll look a lot funnier masturbating in a bathtub full of milk.
  • Me: .... That isn't a threat.
  • Brother: No, but you would look funny doing it.

supamuthafuckinvillain:

marsneedswomen:

My favourite moment from an animated show

Watch this high it’s incredible

(Source: fyamericandad)

245,271 notes

  • Me: *Sneezes*
  • Brother: Shut that shit up.

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Posting this just because Michael will like it.

Posting this just because Michael will like it.

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Most people don’t believe me when I tell them I’m a greaser.
My hair is just too long to grease right now.

Most people don’t believe me when I tell them I’m a greaser.

My hair is just too long to grease right now.

ATTENTION

savanaugh:

I AM ON A MISSION. I AM GOING TO FOLLOW EVERY FUCKING BLOG ON THIS SITE. ALL OF THEM. HELP ME ACHIEVE THIS GOAL, INTERNET STRANGERS, BY REBLOGGING THIS POST AND I WILL FOLLOW ALL WHO REBLOG IT. E V E R Y O N E.

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You have nice manners for a thief and a liar.
The Hobbit (1977)

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